10 Craziest Craigslist Portland Ads

Portland, Oregon, is a laid-back city with a strange vibe. It could be the rainy weather or the slogan “Keep Portland Wild,” which attracts all kinds of weirdos to the area. Craigslist Portland is a place where you can meet these “different” people. It allows you to sell and buy strange items or find unique individuals who will share your housing costs. Craigslist has it all.

Ten mysterious, unique, and completely insane Craigslist Portland ads.

1. Cult Knife?

Anything that includes the words “I… don’t know…this knife” scares me. As if some strange desert cult might do to me… The accompanying photo is very strange indeed. It shows a face that looks like a turkey with a mask below and a grin. This item was $50, an excellent buy for desert ritualists.

     2. Strange and Wickedly Awesome

Although this posting may not seem very strange at first glance, it is 500 / 1200ft2. I- Looking to find a great roommate! You can read the full ad copy below. The rent is listed at $600 on the poster. He still posted the rent at $500, as utilities are included. 

The house photo was also shared on a dating website. “Well, let’s be real, looking for a relationship is very similar to looking for a roommate.” On the trip, the owner of the house says he will protect your privacy, that the home is not dramatic, and that he is trustworthy. Trip says it’s “Just like dating, right?”

     3. Insensitive Item Collector

This is a movie poster that depicts the story of Daisy and Violet Hilton. The poster says, “Held Captive!” They Fight For Freedom! They fight for love! You can grab this bizarre but mocking item for $9. The bottom line of this ad reads “Freak Show “.

     4. Fresh Urine

To pass drug screens, you can get the best urine for $20. You can pass anything, according to the poster. You have more than enough. Discreet.” Since 2001, the seller has been selling fake pee to job applicants. It is unclear how to get past the lab technicians who took your deposit.

     5. Call the Dude

Don’t feel alone doing your daily chores. River City Dude understands that no one wants to work alone! This Dude Can Help With Anything. The dude even has a photo of himself, in case you need more motivation. He seems strong enough to take on odd jobs and claims that he’s done more jobs in his lifetime than most men. He claims he is trustworthy, responsible, and “Somewhat Knowledgeable”. He prefers cash payments.

     6. More Dude

This ad is for you if the first one doesn’t grab attention. Contact “The River City Dude” for Brain Damage or Storm Damage! This ad features a photo showing a head with electricity coursing through it. He is serious and wants to help. The ad states, “This Dude Abides!” “Accept no Substitutes!” He isn’t a dude. If you have any questions, he is the man to call. *UPDATE: Although this ad has expired, we had to add it.

     7. Spirit in the Sofa

The Haunted Couch looks great, but a “malevolent force haunts it”. It was initially purchased at a yard sale. Gunther, Gunther’s pet cat, experienced strange effects. The “couch contained an unidentified spirit that lives in and eventually devours an Animal host.” A poster shows “shocking” images of human hands reaching out from the couch cushions. The price was $25, so it was a great deal. The ad grabs attention, whether serious or a joke, to get people to buy the item.

     8. Never again will you be able to watch a snuggle commercial

You can get your own rare one-eyed teddy bear with a music box and demons, or you can “snuggle” it. You’ll be able to tell it’s genuine by its “loud knocks” communicating when it needs your attention. Although the seller suggests that it can be refurbished, he believes it is more valuable than it is. The music box plays a clear and haunting melody.

     9. Here Kitty?

Kittens for Sale are adorable! This photo shows a large cat biting into the neck of a small kitten lying on its back, arms out in surrender. You would love to own that kitten! The seller says the kittens are “a lot of fun to play with.” The photo suggests that the kittens are not having much fun. Although it’s likely just playtime, the main photo doesn’t make owning cats appealing.

     10. Truly Used Dog Bed

This poster, a Double Orthopedic Dog Bed – Memory Foam Extra Large (XL) – $40, shows that the seller did not clean the item before taking photos for Craigslist Portland. Although the seller admits that the bed has seen very little use and certainly no urine/wear and tear, his Newfoundland dog had only used it twice. Sellers will wash the bed for customers who purchase it.

 It doesn’t matter if there is a design on the mattress or if the angle of the photograph is wrong. The mattress, which is unusually designed, is available for $40. The tennis ball in the photo was included to illustrate the scale and is not available for Sale. This may prove a deal-breaker, but the seller is willing to take a chance.

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