Step 1: Take The Time To Think About Saving Your Relationship
First of all, and before making any decision, it is essential to ask yourself and reflect. I realized that my relationship is terrible. I must now understand what is wrong to know what to do.
As stated previously, it is essential to take action back from your partner. Avoid telling him what you think. You might say things impulsively and hurt him since you do not yet have a clear idea of what led your relationship to this crisis.
Step 2: Talk To Each Other, Have A Discussion.
Reconstructing your relationship requires discussion. Are you afraid of living in a different relationship? It’s time to react and take stock of your relationship!
Discussion is the essential element for success in love. Without dialogue, your couple will remain frozen where they are now, i.e., on the verge of breaking up.
In this dialogue, it will be essential to talk about what you have highlighted during your reflection phase.
You can explain to your partner that you’ve thought a lot about it, that you don’t have this conversation on a whim, that it’s been a while since you felt something was wrong with your relationship.
Having taken this moment of reflection will help you speak calmly without hurting your partner. This way, he/she can see that you are telling the truth and that this time you need to take your discussion seriously.
There are other cases where the discussion is all the more important, for example, when it comes to keeping a couple after a betrayal.
In this case, keeping your relationship is about regaining confidence in each other. So you’re going to have to put your cards on the table. You and your partner will have to discuss the reasons that led to this betrayal: why did one of you betray the couple? What happened in your routine to get there?
Here you have to be completely honest with each other, even if it can hurt, to be able to save your relationship, and start from scratch without grudges spoiling everything in the future. Suppose you don’t have the possibility or the inclination to have a face-to-face discussion with your ex. In that case, you can very well write a letter to succeed in winning it back.
As in the case of betrayal, you are getting your couple out of the crisis after infidelity also requires a lot of dialogue and reflection. In this case, we must also tell each other in all transparency what led one of you to be unfaithful. Suppose your goal is to save your relationship. In that case, you will have to be very open-minded to accept infidelity and be ready to rebuild your relationship on a new basis by putting that behind you.
Either way, the way you talk and convey your feelings to the other person is significant in saving your relationship. It is necessary, I repeat myself, to have a dialogue and explain to your partner that in no case is it a question of admonishing him or her.
Highlighting the importance of the discussion, also underscoring the wish to save your relationship, making the dialogue between you optimistic is the only way to get there. Show your double that this is really what you want for both of you and that you have to put aside your resentment and forgive each other to rebuild your relationship.
If you can communicate well your feelings and your feelings, then you won the first part.
Step 3: Seduce Yourself Again To Save Your Relationship
Saving your relationship from breaking up and overcoming routine in your relationship involves an effort of seduction as if it were the first time that you have met, where everything has to be built.
To keep your girlfriend/boyfriend in love, you will have to put in some effort. Indeed, with the routine, the children, or even the centers of different interests, we often put aside these efforts, thinking that your couple does not need them. But you have to win back the other to keep him in love constantly.
I discuss here a list of examples that will allow you to rekindle the flame in your relationship. Then you are free to have other ideas if you think they are better suited to your relationship.
Make new outings one-to-one:
Is it been years since you’ve been to a concert together? Can’t remember the date you went for a drink in a bar together? It’s time to refresh your memory!
Tonight is an evening reserved exclusively for your couple. Cancel your planned outing with your friends or your sports class. Try to finish early from the office to surprise your girlfriend or boyfriend.
If you have kids, now is the time to find a nanny.
This outing will allow you to meet face to face, in a place different from your area of life. This agreement must take place where you are not used to frequenting to bring novelty.
Also, remember that this stage is a moment of seduction. The place selected must be a place conducive to charm but also to dialogue. The goal here is to find yourself as when you first met to rediscover the other. Discussion is therefore essential. So maybe forget the rock concert for this first release, reserve for the second or third.
Keep moments of intimacy:
Did you love being alone with your partner? We must therefore repeat the experience as much as possible.
In your busy schedule, make room to keep your private moments weekly or every two weeks. It is essential to break the routine so as not to find your relationship problems again and maintain your seduction efforts.
Have small intentions towards each other:
The goal here is to show that we are thinking of each other or to show that we know what makes our partner happy. This will make your partner feel valued and see that you care about him/her.
This stage of valuing the other is critical. When you let go of your relationship, you tend to take the other for granted and no longer make an effort.
It’s essential to show your partner how valuable he/she is to you. Getting your couple out of the crisis goes through their declarations of love, this valuation of the aspects of your / your partner’s personality, which is why you are in a relationship with her/him.
In addition, this valuation of the other will re-establish confidence in your relationship, another essential element to save your relationship. Whether it is to protect your relationship after a betrayal or after infidelity, you have to regain confidence in each other to get out of the dead center in which your relationship is.
With this valuation, your partner will feel special in your eyes and will therefore feel more secure knowing the love you have for them. She/he will be less afraid that you will find another more attractive person and be more confident when it comes to doing activities without each other.
You can also send a letter to save your relationship. It will show the affection you still have for your ex after this complicated time.
Step 4: Have A Life Apart From Your Relationship.
It may seem paradoxical enough, but saving your relationship on the verge of breaking up requires the success of your own life.
It is essential to be fulfilled in your daily life and to be able to do activities outside your relationship.
Indeed, to be happy as a couple, you must first be satisfied yourself. For this, you have to exist as a whole person outside of your relationship. For many, emotional dependence and the desire to save their relationship are damaging. Indeed, one can tend to favor the well-being of the other rather than his well-being. We are constantly taking care of ourselves without realizing that we are sacrificing our pleasure for the other.
It is important to keep relationships independent of your relationship, to have moments when you can find yourself alone, and take a break from your daily life. Being able to count on people other than your partner is essential.
Indeed, we tend too much to relate to our spouse only. At the beginning of a relationship, we can be a little blinded by love and put aside our friends or family. However, these people are essential to the balance of your relationship.
If you can rely on other people, you will avoid putting too much pressure on your partner, which could scare him/her. A couple is like a pressure cooker, and you need to release the tension from time to time. Having a moment to yourself allows you to escape and then come back more serene in the couple and avoid the stresses of everyday life. We breathe. And we leave!
Also, having an independent life can spice up your relationship. It leaves a little bit of mystery in you, which could pique your partner’s curiosity. I’m not talking about jealousy, of course. But having your moments of intimacy can cause a lack, a desire to find yourself with your spouse. And then, it also gives pleasure when you have a good time with your friends or family. And this pleasure and your good mood, you can then take them home and share with your partner, which is much more pleasant than seeing you come home stressed or in a bad mood.
Therefore, saving your relationship is a standard process and a personal process, as the Marie Claire website indicates, which allows you to question yourself and take stock of your personal life to make you both happier.
Step 5: Maintain Your Relationship
Your couple is now saved from breaking up, but they are still fragile and still need work.
It’s important not to go back to the routine that brought your relationship close to breaking up.
Maintaining your relationship is, in fact, a stage of your whole life because you must constantly work on your development.
You have to continue to keep moments of intimacy, keep your small intentions, and above all, continue to value the other by reminding him of what he represents for you. Saving your couple daily is that! But, we must not fall into a routine. For example, going to a restaurant once a month would no longer be considered a small intention. It needs to remain in the realm of creativity and change to spice up your life. It’s up to you to have ideas…!
Maintaining your relationship also works to save your relationship from a distance, for example. Being far away can make us forget this critical step. We tell ourselves that with space, this is not possible. But it is precisely possible to have little intentions towards each other despite the distance. You can leave messages for each other throughout the day to say you’re thinking about each other. You may surprise yourself by sending yourself gifts or even letters. It would also be an excellent surprise to organize an unscheduled visit.
Therefore, distance is not to maintain your relationship, all the more so with current means of communication.
Trying to keep your romantic relationship doesn’t have to work 100%. Sometimes it’s too late, or sometimes you have to accept that you’re not meant to be together anymore. But the several great things is to try to save your relationship. Too many people tend to give up when difficulties arise.
Having disagreements does not necessarily mean breaking up. Indeed, we all have different behaviors and points of view. Working to avoid rupture allows us to find solutions to live with these other points of view.
Only one of the members of the couple may find the need to save their relationship. In this case, the first two phases of reflection and dialogue are essential. Indeed, you will have to be careful not to hurt the other person when you tell him how you feel about your relationship’s problems.
In this case, maintaining your relationship may be more accessible because if the other person wants your relationship to last, they will be more ready to put in the necessary efforts to save your relationship. But it will still be required to value her and show her what she means to you so that the measures go both ways and not just an attempt on her part to keep you.
You can also explain to her the importance of having a personal life outside of your relationship, which may give you a little more space. You may realize that space is precisely what you lacked in your relationship.
Saving your relationship doesn’t have to be heavy or complicated. On the contrary. Must do it quite naturally. This is about finding the lightness of the beginning of your relationship.
If your relationship is having more difficulty, some professionals can advise you. I recommend you first talk to your relatives who know you well before consulting a professional directly.
One last important element is time: regaining a healthy relationship will not happen in a week! It’s a long process. The longer the length of your relationship. Indeed, the longer you’ve been in a relationship, the more routine habits are installed. It will therefore take time to change your practices and register your new rhythm in sustainability.
The time needed to improve the situation is unique to everyone. It is important not to compare yourself to others at their own pace.
Healing your relationship can also take several attempts. It’s not easy to find activities or a rhythm that works that work in your daily life the first time. So do not hesitate to repeat the experience.
For example, I have a friend who had to go through a breakup to save his relationship. Indeed, before considering separation, he tried to find a healthy relationship by following these five steps. After steps 1 and 2, he and his girlfriends made several attempts to find moments of intimacy. But it didn’t work, on their dates, their problems always resurfaced in conversation, and they couldn’t move forward. After a year of unsuccessful attempts, they decided to go their separate ways.
During this separation, they had completely broken off communication. During three months, they did not give any more news. These three months alone allowed them to each resume a more prosperous and more fulfilled personal life. It also allowed them to reflect on their behavior within their couples.
They both realized that in their various attempts to improve their relationship, they both remained in their positions without wanting to accept the findings of the other.
After three months, they decided to reconnect to discuss their relationship. It was not a lack of love that caused their separation, but more a problem of understanding and mutual suffocation. Indeed, their couple was quite exclusive, leaving little room for friends and family. They spent all their free time together and shared very little time in groups.
They also realized that in their routine, they forgot to tell each other their feelings. They had become more friends rather than a couple.
After all these observations, they decided to get into a relationship, the lack of each other being too strong. They set off on new bases, being careful not to neglect anything with the daily and routine. For example, they each keep two evenings per month for individual outings. They now respect their weekly moment of privacy while being flexible. Indeed, depending on the weeks, they arrange their schedules to find room for each other.
Saving your relationship is, above all, a question of will and love. It is essential to consider your couple as unique and not to copy other couples in this process. Each step is different, and it is necessary to respect the will of each of the two members of the team to save your couple.